Shamed and humiliated to death

Remember Tyler Clementi?

He was in college and a short video was leaked by his roommate showing Tyler being intimate with another man. When Tyler learned about the video, he took his own life by jumping off a bridge.

It's quite possible to ascertain Tyler became distressed, unsettled and overwhelmed with depression, shame and humiliation when he heard his privacy had been violated and leaked.

Tyler's not here to describe exactly how he felt, but more so than not, he probably was very distressed and horrified to learn his privacy has been violated and viewed by others.

Monica Lewinsky voiced that she had thoughts of suicide after her 1995-97 affair with then-President Bill Clinton become headline news. She was in her early 20's at the time.
The thoughts to end her life were not carried. She went on to earn a Master's degree in Social Psychology and today she has positioned herself to be of help to others by working for anti-bullying organizations.

Feelings of shame and humiliation can be experienced when your intimate/private life is publicized without permission.
This can be a very distressing experience for anyone which can bring about extreme emotional turmoil and if that person doesn't seek professional help to deal with their emotions, a person can resort to retreating and withdrawing from their normal activities and even contemplate and attempt suicide to escape from the excruciating pain of being humiliated.

Here's an article how humiliation can lead to suicide and 6 steps to talk a man out of suicidality.
( I trust will also work to talk a woman out of suicidality)

Here's an article with video about shame being connected with suicide.


I am not a professional counselor,
so please seek professional advice immediately if you are experiencing any emotional turmoil from any upsetting situation.
Professional counselors are skilled in helping a person overcome trauma and the distressed feelings with solutions to help get past feelings of suicide.
Bad things can happen to good people.
There is hope and there will be good times again if you give healing and help a chance.
There is a tomorrow and there is hope.

Stop reverse discrimination!

The bakers who refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding are victims of reverse discrimination.

wedding cake

Photo credit: matthew_hull from morguefile.com

This article made me ponder about the bakers in this case and their religious beliefs.

Had the request been for a cake only, that was alright.
The bakers declined only because they objected to the message that was requested to be put on the cake. The bakers declined this because it was in violation of their religious beliefs and practices.


The message of the Word of God says to love your neighbor,
and it also says to turn from those things spelled out clearly to not be just, righteous,
honorable and true according to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. 

Supporting marriage between a man and a woman is honorable, according to the Word of God.
Supporting marriage between two men or two women is not honorable, according to the holy scriptures.
1Corinthians 7:38 
Hebrews 13:4

What is honorable?

The baker being sued for discrimination was wrong.
They were within their religious rights to decline a clear support of gay marriage.

If the cake had to have the words,' support gay marriage' on it, I guess the customer could have added the wording at a later time outside the bakery.

To claim discrimination against anyone who does not support a lifestyle which isn't theirs is reverse discrimination.
In this case, that would be saying supporting gay marriage trumps anyone who doesn't support gay marriage.
It's discrimination to forbid or keep any person from practicing their religious beliefs even in their place of work. The bakers weren't halting the gay marriage from going forth. The baker was discriminated against for following his faith which is in his right to act upon. 


Can we respectful others who are not of the same beliefs or lifestyle?

We really ought to communicate cordially and tactfully with each other even if religious and lifestyle differ.

The world is full of people of various lifestyle practices and religious beliefs.
The courts would be packed full of discrimination cases if every time you met 

with someone who chose to not join with you on your beliefs or lifestyle.

When a conflicting situation arises, take one's business elsewhere.
Why force someone to go against their faith?

I don't hear Christian's screaming, 'Discrimination!'

Coloring/darkening the skin is controversial and offensive

People of color have endured harassment and oppression throughout history. They have a legitimate right being sensitive about having been treated unfairly or disrespectfully. No one ought to treated unfairly due to the amount of melanin in their skin.

To anyone who's suffered oppression, reminders of oppression, (viewing or hearing about a person darkening their skin to look like a person of color), naturally will be viewed as offensive and racist.
This is what blackface does and no one wants to be offended or be reminded of past insults or mockery.

Every person of every shade and hue of skin rightfully 

deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, equally.

What contributes to the color/pigmentation of skin

Here is a list of words to describe skin color.


I have two questions-

1. Is it possible to portray someone of darker skin color than your own to honor          and person positively?
2. Is it possible for a person of color to view 'blackface' other than being an act of      racism?

The answers of these questions are complex and depends upon many factors and actually may not be answerable.

Two examples-

For instance, Zwarte Piet. is depicted annually in the Netherlands during a St. Nicholas festival. People darken their faces and dress up to remember 'Black Pete", who was a Moor from Spain (which I think may actually be an Arab or Muslim).

And this presenter in South Korea accused of blackface. This presenter may have darkened his face as a visual flattery and acknowledgment of his positive liking of a certain character of color.


I believe the answers depend on the intention, the situation, and the perception.

Even if the intention is clearly stated that blacken face is not meant to be offensive but be an artistic expression to favorably and adequately re-enact or portray a person of color, a blacken face can still be viewed to be in poor taste and/or viewed as offensive and racist.

Even if the situation is meant to honor a person of color, the honoring done in blackface may still be viewed as offensive and racist.
(even the term 'person of color' can be controversial terminology. )

Even if a person of color views the intent and the situation favorably as the person in blackened face wants it to be, not every other person of color is going to view a blackened face that same way.


Remember-

What's right and well-meaning by one isn't necessarily right and well-meaning to another concerning blackface as Megyn Kelly had once thought.


People's sensitivities are heightened concerning any reminder of persons being offended and a person darkening their face to resemble a person of color is considered an offensive, racist, insensitive act.


Squelch any urge to blacken your face because the controversy and damage of doing so is reason enough not to go there. 


'Persons of color' may be a term referencing more than one specific nationality, minority or race of  people.

The Controversial Confederate Flag

I was born in a southern state. I lived my early childhood in a western state and the remainder of my early adulthood in a mid-western state. I've returned to the South. The winters are much more tolerable with a gentler pace of life in the South. The unspoken rule in the South is to take things slow-and-easy. Do otherwise and one suffers an adverse effect. The humidity and heat double-whammy settles down upon everything in the South like layers of steamed, hot, heavy blankets from mid-Spring to late-Fall. You're prone to a heat stroke or collapsing from fatigue under the heavy humid heat if you don't slow down anytime you're not in conditioned, cooled air.



Of course another relic of the South is the Confederate flag.
I remember watching the show, The Dukes of Hazzard in the 1970's. The show ran a few years and I recall it was an entertaining, wholesome show. It featured a fast, painted orange '69 Dodge Charger ran hard and fast by the 'Duke' actors who slid in and out of the car without opening the doors.
Very obvious was the Confederate Flag painted on 'The General Lee's' roof,  which I thought perfectly represented the show's setting. I never thought the actors, nor the car with the Confederate flag painted on the roof represented hatred towards any group of people, nor did I see that any part of the show represented white supremacism.

Re-runs of the Dukes of Hazzard were recently pulled from the air because of the Confederate flag controversy.

The General Lee will have the Confederate flag removed-retailers ban the Confederate flag.

Some believe the Confederate flag symbolizes racism.

Some say the Confederate flag symbolizes Southern pride.


 It's true-the Confederate flag symbolizes different things to different people.


Today, the Confederate flag is still flown at people's homes; displayed in the back window of pick-up trucks; and sewn on the back of jackets.
Personally, I have not associated negativity with the Confederate flag, nor have I associated the flag with white supremacism. But I understand some do so we may have to agree to disagree. But it is within one's right to display this flag and the people who don't like it will have to realize a flag doesn't mean we need to war with each other or forbid a person for displaying a flag they want to display.

The Confederate flag represents a part of history when this country was divided and warring between the Northern and Southern states.
 The Civil War was a harrowing period of time in this country's history during the 1860's, but the war was resolved. 
The key words here are 'history' and 'resolved'. What occurred in the past can't be changed, undone or erased even if all the relics of the war are destroyed. History happened. We can learn from what happened if we don't forget what happened. Some people choose to connect with that past by displaying the Confederate flag. That's their choice and it does not mean they want the past to come forward. No one alive today was alive during the Civil War years so no one can fault anyone for that history of our country.

The Confederate flag continues to be a reminder about what divided this country 150 years ago, and to others it reminds them of what still divides us today. How a person views the Confederate flag depends on your ancestors, your family, your upbringing, your knowledge of history, your values, your morals, and if you do or don't believe this country and people have learned anything and grown from what happened in the past or not.

Individually we ought to learn something valuable from that period in our history and move forward so that history isn't repeated for another Civil War.

Always a lady

I was thinking about ladies in the entertainment field who've in my opinion have stood out by displaying first-class elegance.
Shirley Jones was initially on my list, but after I read she's written a book telling about her sex life shedding light she's nothing at all the characters she's portrayed on television shows or movies.
In my humble opinion, an elegant lady knows certain things need to be kept private. I took her name off my list.

The women on my list have not only portrayed elegant wholesome characters in their professional careers, but they've also presented themselves as ladies of grace and their off-screen life as well.

Ladies-
-dress appropriately for the occasion
-are mannerly, calm, cool and collected 
-are charming and respectful
-express themselves without being rude, loud or vulgar

I like this definition/description of a 'Lady' on Urban Dictionary-
 "Lady" is a Title that defines an Elegant Gracious Loving Woman who uses Etiquette and Diplomacy in both Public and Private Matters". Her Beauty comes from within. She has a firm bridle on her emotions and conducts herself with wisdom.


The following ladies receive my honorable mentioning-
Katherine Hepburn, born in 1907;
Greta Garbo, born in 1905,
Ava Gardener, born in 1922,
Lucille Ball, born in 1911,
Ginger Rogers, born in 1911,
Ella Fitzgerald, born 1917,
Della Reese, born 1931, and
Doris Day, born in 1922.

I'm sure I can come up with more names if I worked longer on this,
but actually I'm wondering whether I exhibit lady-like qualities?
The names on my list are entertainers, but I'm not insinuating only entertainers 
can act or be ladies of class and elegance.

(Images below were uploaded from google images)

June Lockhart- born in 1925



Shirley Temple Black- (1928-2014) was just 5' 2" tall. She actually knew Eleanor Roosevelt and Amelia Earhart. Her accomplishments were astonishing from an early age when she brought smiles and laughter to millions during the 1930 Depression years. She later served as a diplomat to the United Nations and as an U.S. ambassador to two countries.


Shirley Temple Black-was a child actress, singer, dancer



       Cicely Tyson- (1924-2022



        Dawn Wells- (1938- 2020)



Florence Henderson- (1934-2016)



Mary Tyler Moore- (1936-2017)

 

Donna Reed(her professional name)- (1921-1986)

  Donna Douglas- (1933-2015)

















     Carroll Brunette (1933-                               


    Grace Kelly- (1929-1982)


       Loretta Lynn (1932-2022



The women I mention here are/were women who present/presented themselves as dignified and classy at all times.

Any woman, of any economic class; race; nationality; age, or profession, can make herself attractive, classy and elegant. A lady is a women with refined charm, maturity and respect toward herself and others.
A lady makes the entire experience of interacting with her a very pleasant one. And, if you've not met her, you desire to make her acquaintance knowing it would be a very pleasurable one.

I've noticed the women on my list were born in the first half of the 1900's, with most being born in the 1930's. Many of these ladies were performing and were viewed on television and movie screens mainly during the 1940's through the 1970's.Thank goodness the work of these ladies was preserved on formats for later viewing again for old time sake and for younger generations to view lady-like etiquette.

Interestingly, I've noticed the younger generation of women don't appear to place much importance on being a lady. They can take lessons from any of the ladies on my list to observe how a lady speaks, dresses and presents herself. A lady doesn't clutter her speech with vulgarity, nor does she need to display an excessive amount of skin to be attractive. A lady is polite, respectful and tactful at all times, nor does she partake in gossiping or talking negatively of anyone. A lady is classy and elegant without being snobbish. A lady is determined by the way she conducts and presents herself. Ethnicity and social class aren't factors.

I'm aware times have changed, but many of the most popular roles women and young girls portrayed today on television shows and movies are so harsh; the lyrics are harsh to the songs they sing; their choose to dress is scantily; and their word choices are very unflattering.

I'm aware what's socially accepted has gone through changes over the years, but any woman or girl can choose to conduct herself in a lady-like manner, makes herself very fashionable, timeless and classy.

I think 'old school' is cool and shouldn't fade away or be forgotten.


Women's fashion has gone through change over the years.



On a personal note, I prefer natural-colored hair.
But should there be a desire for drastic color change to say, green,
blue, orange or purple hair, there are consequences.
Hair dyed an unusual color reminds me of a clown.


Being yourself is good enough. 




The tips in this video will help present yourself more lady-like 

and classy. They're actually very good tips!




The content in this video is on target.

Code Talkers are War Heroes- updated

A few years ago I shared some interesting facts about the Code Talkers.


Statue of Code Talker

Here's the declassified Navajo Code Talker Dictionary.

Today, I'm saddened to hear that Alfred K. Newman, at the age of 94, has passed on.


Navajo Code Talkers are War Heroes

There were 29 original Code Talkers, and Mr. Newman was a member of this elite group of 421.
Here are their names.

Here is additional information written about the Code Talkers, with photos, of how the Code Talkers were vital during WWII.



I believe the Code Talkers were very instrumental in the war effort.

These legendary servicemen, according to the Navajo Code Talkers Association, in this Navajo Times article written in 2014, is dwindling to less than 30.

Plans for a Navajo Code Talkers may be a reality, which is stated in this article. And, in this same  November 29, 2017, CNN article, with video and photos, only 13 Code Talkers were still living.

Mark Lester- from actor to Doctor of Osteopathy

I just recently learned that Mark Lester, the young child actor who played Oliver Twist in Oliver!, the 1968 movie musical, is now 60 years of age.
He's been a practicing Doctor of Osteopathy and licensed acupuncturist.

He has a website for his Carlton Clinic.




(photo from google images)


I think that's quite extraordinary!